People with chronic pain can be incredibly resilient after facing daily discomfort for long periods of time. We quickly build a new kind of tolerance to the typical aches and pains. Plus, we have to get creative with how we do day-to-day activities through or around the pain. Chronic pain survivors are often tough because we have no other choice but to be. But all this said, there’s no hiding the impact that living with chronic pain can have on our lives.
So, what do you do when chronic pain becomes too much? Below, we’ve put together some suggestions on what you can do when chronic pain becomes too much to function as you normally would. From self-care to self-advocacy, there are resources to lean on in the times when the pain goes off the scale.
How Do You Know When Chronic Pain Becomes Too Much To Handle?
There are different types of pain that people can experience. Some people might only ever have instances of acute pain while others deal with the long-term effects of chronic pain.
The main difference when it comes to acute pain is that this type of pain usually happens suddenly and does not last longer than four weeks. Acute pain usually is the result of an injury, surgery, illness, or other types of strain. Any type of pain, acute or chronic, can disrupt somebody’s abilities. However, chronic pain usually has a longer impact on somebody’s life because it’s not something that resolves after time.
Those with acute pain might have an action plan to work toward eliminating the discomfort. People with chronic pain might have similar methods, such as:
- Taking pain medication
- Applying heat or ice
- Doing physical therapy or other tolerated, gentle movements
- Using distractions (seeing friends, watching movies, reading books, etc.)
- Eating well/avoiding certain foods
- Stress management
But people living with chronic pain might not always find success in these traditional methods. One sign of when chronic pain becomes too much to handle is when there is no relief from the pain, despite these attempts.
Additionally, an indicator that chronic pain has become too much to handle is when it begins to greatly impact one’s quality of life. This means that the pain is so severe that the person experiencing it is unable to work, socialize, find joy in going out, care for themselves independently, or function in other ways.
When this happens, people living with chronic pain can face a whole new onslaught of challenges. Not only is it incredibly frustrating to have one’s day-to-day life greatly impacted, but the side effects of pain can be detrimental to one’s overall well-being—including physical and mental health.
Chronic Pain and Mental Health Support
One of the most important resources when chronic pain becomes too much to cope with is to get mental health assistance. The physical experiences of chronic pain are a lot to handle on their own, but there is also an emotional component that comes with this as well.
Research shows that people living with chronic pain are at an increased risk of having anxiety and depression as well. When chronic pain becomes too much for a person, it can leave them feeling isolated, stuck, and dependent on others. Sometimes, this leads to a negative self-image.
Even just worrying about when you’ll feel pain next or how you’ll do day-to-day things when the pain flares up can cause a harmful impact on your mental health. Feelings of sadness, helplessness, and loneliness are all common to experience with chronic pain—but nobody should have to deal with these feelings alone.
Attending counseling, practicing mindfulness, and getting help from chronic pain support groups are all useful resources when chronic pain becomes too much. Support groups can be particularly helpful when people living with chronic pain feel as though nobody else understands their struggle. In reality, many people face similar issues when it comes to chronic pain. While this might not make the pain any less severe, it can help lessen the emotional side effects that come with chronic pain.
Advocating for Yourself
Perhaps most importantly, advocating for yourself when chronic pain becomes too much for you to function is absolutely vital to managing your health and happiness. Self-advocacy is the practice of speaking up for your needs. This could mean speaking with your doctor in order to express that the current method of treatment for your pain is not working as effectively as it could be.
Advocating for yourself might also look like asking for accommodations at work. This can be very beneficial to your overall health. Accommodations are very necessary when chronic pain becomes too much to function as you typically would, but they also can help to prevent more pain. For example, if chronic pain makes it challenging for you to take the stairs, having elevator access can reduce the risk of experiencing more pain and might even help you to save the energy that you need to make it through the day.
Moreover, speaking out on the need for digital accessibility can be a useful form of self-advocacy when chronic pain becomes too much to do things physically and leaves you to find other methods of accessing resources or support. Digital access to online support groups, your medical charts, and even using apps to track patterns in your pain are all strategies that might be helpful in better managing the constant discomfort that comes with chronic pain.
When Chronic Pain Becomes Too Much, Don’t Sacrifice Yourself
The biggest takeaway here is that chronic pain can have a significant impact on your quality of life. The trick to living with chronic pain is to find ways to make it more tolerable in the hardest of moments so that you can still find joy and wellness in your day-to-day life. Of course, this is easier said than done.
Pain is complex and people living with chronic pain often have to cope with constant discomfort. There is not a one-size-fits-all solution to what people should do when chronic pain becomes too much to cope with. While some people might find relief in certain remedies like pain medication or physical therapy, others must take the time to practice self-care and tend to their mental health.
Whatever coping strategies you might turn to when chronic pain becomes too much, just keep in mind that you shouldn’t have to sacrifice yourself or your well-being. Listen to your body’s needs. Sometimes, the different pains can be an indicator that you need to take a break, get those accommodations, or work to advocate for better pain management. Most of all, practice patience and kindness toward yourself.
It’s easy to become frustrated with your body and your abilities when chronic pain becomes too much to handle. Consider making a list of all of the things you can do in spite of the pain. Or use the support of others who understand the struggles of living with chronic pain. You are not alone in this fight—and you are not without hope. Though it may not feel like it, better days are ahead.
What Do You Do When Chronic Pain Becomes Too Much?
download our Pain Management Plan PDF
I’ve been dealing with the most intense pelvic pain of my life for the last month. I have been to 4 doctors and the ER and have gotten several scans, labs, and ultrasounds done. It wasn’t until just a couple days ago that I was able to get in with a OBGYN who said I had Pelvic Floor Myalgia. Now I have to wait another month to get in with the Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist. I keep calling the PT asking if there’s been any cancellations cause I can’t deal with this pain. I told my OBGYN that ibuprofen or even Motrin do nothing to help and she just said to keep taking it. I’ve been dealing with Sciatica for the past year and I thought that pain was bad, but it has nothing on this. I spent my holiday season isolating in my room laying with a heating pack on instead of visiting with family who flew in to town. I haven’t seen my friends since this started over a month ago. For New Years I’ll be home alone since I can’t stand or even sit for too long. I was supposed to start a new job a couple weeks ago and had to resign before I even started cause I don’t know how I would be able to work if I can’t even sit at the dinner table long enough to finish my meal. I’ve had a mental health therapist since before this, but only being able to meet every 2 weeks is tough when it’s only 11am and I’ve already cried three times today. Don’t know how I’m going to survive this next month until I can get in for PT. But I guess we just do what we have to do.
Hang in there, pray and have faith that your prayers will be answered. I have been dealing with foot pain since my surgery, which was 8 months ago. I cannot walk straight, I have pain in my foot. Burning and and a tingling sensation keep me awake at night. I am getting ready to see a neurologist and start pain management. I’ve come to realize that everyone don’t heal the same. I thought I would be healed and back at work, but I feel worst now sometimes, than before the surgery on my foot. I don’t blame anyone, I just deal with this one day at a time.
Ask her if you can try the Axonics neuromodulator implant for pelvic pain.
I deeply know your pain and what your going threw. When I had symptoms like yours I went to 4 drs where I live and 3 out of state. I finally found the right dr and she ran some tests and I finally after months of being told it’s all in my head. There’s nothing wrong with me. Then when the dr told me I had Interstitial Cystitis it was like music to my ears. Not that I was happy to have it but to know it wasn’t in my head and it was a real thing. It’s also called angry bladder syndrome. It’s from having spots in your bladder where the jelly that protects the bladder is gone and you have an ulcer like spot there that gets inflamed by certain things. Food is a big one. Especially caffeine. You can go on google and type in Interstitial Cystitis diet and it gives a list of foods to avoid. I’ve had this for 22yrs and unfortunately there’s no cure. Other things that have helped me besides the ones you are already using is a tens machine. You put these little patches on you where it hurts and their connected to wires that go to the machine. It sends electric pulses threw your body. You can make them really light or harder whatever feels the best for you. Lidocaine patches help too. There’s a lady online that sells interstitial cystitis oil to rub on your pelvic region too. One of the ways you can tell if you have this is feeling like you have a UTI or bladder infection and the dr gives you a pee test to see if you have an infection and they keep coming up negative. It took me about a year and a half to get diagnosed with this. It’s really hard to diagnose because it comes with so many different symptoms. You may not even have this but it might help you if it’s something close to it. I hope this helps. I will be praying for you. Best wishes, t
I am sadly in the same boat and I feel for each and every one of you, I wish you all the best. I have a botched bunionectomy, so,, yeah, intense nerve pain (but no entrapment, I just had a nergative EMG), a torn shoulder labrum (I’m a competitive swimmer–well, WAS), and now pain in my right, good side like someone is twisting my leg around and around. Sciatica that my chiropractor can’t relieve. I can barely walk. I just retired from a government job and I am now a complete hermit because I hurt. I can’t exercise and I’m a hardcore jock, always was. Can’t even do yoga at ths point. Running out of Tramadol which doesn’t work anyhow. I’m down to 107 and my calves are like skin on bone. I had a PRP injection in my shoulder and I swear the pain is worse now, can’t swim at ALL. This is killing me and I wish I would go to sleep and never wake up, I cry constantly, I have no friends, family gone except my brother and he blows me off like I am a big baby. Life sucks and I pray for it to get better. That’s all I have at this point. I don’t wake up thinking it’s going to be a painful day, but somehow it ends up being one. Any words of advice or hope??
I’m very sorry to read this. See a Pain Management office in your hospital – they will prescribe meds. You can also try various herbs like CBD, kratom, valerian root, many others. You are not alone – I have bad pain too, have lost weight, and I struggle every day.
No one is writing prescriptions for pain medication anymore. Or if they do it’s for very few and the lowest dose possible.
The Drs, surgeons, dentists the whole medical community are failing us!!!
I have bulging disk in my back. Have for many years,but a few months ago I managed to fall and break 2 vertebrae. I have to keep going back to the ER for pain relief because pain management won’t help because the hospital gave me valium so I could calm down eto get an MRI. So because the benzo showed up in my urine test I was denied pain meds to help with the debilitating pain. I have had minimal healing since September and still have alot of edema in the fracture. And now the ER won’t treat me, because they say it’s chronic pain and I need pain management. It’s like I am running in a big circle. I can’t sleep longer than 2 hrs a night. I have been up pretty much 48 hrs now because I can’t cope with the pain.
I stand up 8 hours a day with 30 minute breaks every 1 1/2-2 hours. My pain usually starts when walking more than 50 ft, so I stop for a couple minutes and walk some more. I use a cane just in case I need it for support. I’ve noticed when I leave work and my lower back/hip is causing severe pain, I have to walk about 1/2 a mile to get to my car, resting periodically, when I get home I get a Migraine headache. Does this sound normal?
I read this post because I thought it would help. Now I feel even more depressed after reading the comments
I agree with you anonymous. The suggestions given in the article may help with mild pain, they generally do not relieve excruciating pain. In regard to mental heath, the suggested treatments may offer some help with managing anxiety and depression, but they are generally not effective in treating excruciating pain. Effective pain relief may be the most effective treatment of anxiety and depression for these pain patients. The article seems to avoid dealing directly with actually treating and significantly relieving chronic and/or chronic episodes of excruciating pain. I will state, in my opinion, the reason for the avoidance of effective treatment: The War on Drugs is really a war on people in pain. By not getting effective treatment from professional Healthcare providers, patients are driven to the streets. This, I believe, plays an significant role in the so-called “Opioid Crisis”. I am not suggesting, as an alternative to the streets, that victims of this crisis try to get pain control from a methadone clinic where they will be treated more like a criminal for wanting help. Rather, they need a good, trusting relationship with a compassionate prescribing physician. Withholding effective treatment of excruciating pain harms patients, in my view, medically and socially. Prescribing physicians should not be made to feel like they are criminals for effectively treating their patient’s excruciating pain. Physicians who really help these pain patients, need to be supported by the government and fellow professionals. The War on Drugs needs to stop. It has failed. Improper drug use by people in pain, should be viewed as a medical problem and treated as such. It should not be viewed as a crime. The government has proven itself to be ineffective in generally stopping or significantly reducing the use of drugs that have been purchased on the streets. The War on Drugs plays a part in innocent people being victimized by those who need money to illegally buy drugs. The issues are complex, but for now, I want to support anonymous. I hope anonymous and others who can not get effective treatment will soon find the competent help they need. Not pain management, but rather, effective pain relief.
I had a total left hip replacement march 2022 and in November 22 the pain started in right leg and groin. I’ve tried everything to manage and now my left hip is chronic. X-ray etc show nothing untoward. I’ve been taking amytryptaline for 6 weeks and they have side effects. I understand all of these comments. My faith is the only thing that’s keeping me sane.
Hurting right now. Rain coming in from hurricane and everything hurts. What kills me is I did it to myself by gaining so much weight as I aged. Just a few pounds every year and now I’m in agony and older and can’t do anything. I swim, bike, hike and all activity just makes it worse. Arthritis, fibromyalgia, inflammation… I do what I can, when I can and I understand that my foolishness will be the death of me. I wish we had more options for pain management, but grateful for a combination of celebrex and cymbalta twice a day. I’m 61 and feel like I need to go to an old folks home. I’m convinced that being very lean is the key to longevity. I’ll have to try again in the next life
Don’t beat yourself up you don’t deseve it. I am in the same boat and I am thin :( After my 3rd back spine surgery I have been diagnosed with AS Ankylosing Spondylitis. It has given me answers as to why I feel as I do & that it is not just in my head. But, with the CDC 2016 guidelines being withdrawn regarding opiates Doctor’s are refusing my 3 x daily 10 mg oxycodone & instead want me to take Gabapentin more instead. Sadly Gaba does not work for my pain. It did help with my neuropathy which my latest surgery did fixed.
My opinion the cost factor between the two are the decision maker not what actually helps the patient:(
Please don’t blame your weight. You are doing the best you can. I lost 30% of my body weight from severe pain after another back surgery putting me into the underweight category and my pain level didn’t improve at all. Doctors make you think that your weight causes the pain. Its bogus. It just makes them feel they have power over something. The pain is caused from something happening in your body and has nothing to do with your weight. I’ve now been anorexic from the pain for 3 years and my pain has only gotten worse. Our weight is irrelevant to our pain.
Love to you
Doctors don’t understand if there is no “medical deformity or diagnostic results” that allows them to write a prescription. So they write you off or shove you off on specialist after specialists, who only send you back to your family doctor feeling like a complete and total idiot. Since people with chronic fatigue syndrome, chronic pain syndrome, fibromyalgia, etc. can’t maintain a social life or relationships the only thing left is a life of 10-15 minutes a day of stretching and pretty much sitting in a chair or laying in bed. Without a bundle of money, we may as well just pray reverently to go to sleep and not wake up. Every morning when I wake up, I’m disappointed that I have to struggle through another day.
I suffer endometriosis and chronic fatigue. I feel like I’m plagued with cancer that never kills me , just keeps me in constant agony and I fall deeper into depression and isolation. I’ve thought about suicide a lot these days because it seems to be the only way free of this hell. I’m only 34 and have three little girls but I’d rather be dead than be alive and unable to fully live because of this disease, I don’t want my children seeing their mommy sad and always tired and in pain. Doctors give nothing but Tylenol and it infuriates me to no end! I want to stick a knife in their pelvis and twist and turn it and then tell them to go take some Tylenol! What a fucking joke! Letting humans suffer in severe pain is just sick. But animals can be put out of their pain and misery ♀️
I agree and completely understand!
oh Lord do I feel same way!!!!!!!! i love when they suggest exercise!!! like um i can barely walk!!!! Its crazy the way so many people suffer for NO FREAKING REASON!!!!!!!
I completely empathize with you! I’ve had endo for a decade and a half almost now, I am 34 going on 35 next month. I have horrendous pelvic pain just about everyday, it comes and goes without warning. I have had three endo resection surgeries, my appendix taken out because it was covered in endo. I had my gallbladder out in 2015 emergently, and now I was diagnosed with pancreatic insufficiency, and have to take enzymes everytime I eat. I battle terrible nausea everyday, and now have a referral to an endocrinologist for some other problems I’ve been having for a good year and a half. I am struggling to get back to my “normal” weight…I lost a ton of weight prior to my EPI diagnosis last summer, but have since put on maybe 13 pounds so far. I am in pain management but I can never call my pain dr to even discuss my meds and degree of increasing chronic pain (he knows my conditions and about the pelvic pain, etc), because they just ignore my messages now, and I am afraid that they will (if not already) just flag me or label me just for being transparent and trying to advocate for myself. I have multiple lower back injuries, scoliosis, and degenerative disc disease throughout my entire spinal cord. I have a two year old daughter and a one year old hound dog, and I am married. I have severe anxiety, see a psychiatrist and therapist too…but I cannot find a doctor to truly listen to me about the pelvic pain. I have been on one pain medication now for close to six months, but there are times now where I do not get relief unless I take a half a tablet more than my usual dose, and I am scared of how I will ever wean off, because we want to try for another baby- but won’t do that until I am off the pain medication obviously. I am in fear of what this pelvic pain really is caused by, amongst other medical concerns, and yes I have been to many specialists- I am under a GI’s care, soon going to get the appt with this endocrinologist, and need a new OBGYN. I have a history of miscarriages as well, so our daughter is our miracle rainbow baby, but we want her to have at least one sibling! I don’t know what to do, and I feel so isolated and unheard. Afraid to even advocate for myself and this chronic pain I am living with, affecting my quality of life and doing more fun things with my child. I am afraid the pain dr I have been with for a year and a half now will just treat me like an addict if I even try and talk to him about how I’m really feeling as of late, and how the pain has increased, etc…bc his staff in the past has already treated me so horribly, even when I had a head trauma that resulted in a concussion, and I could barely walk. I’m always dealing with battling either his office or the pharmacy (same pharmacy, haven’t changed the one I go to for my usual prescription pain medication from this one and only doctor) every time my refill approaches. Sorry for ranting. Your post just resonated with me so much, and I’m having such a hard time.
absolutely!!!!! I have suffered with chronic pain started back in 2010 almost 13 years!!! I have many pain areas low back.feet,knees. Its progessive and i deal with pain every single day. Ive had a microdisectomy in 2019 to take the disc out if L5S1 to remove the compresssion off of my sciatic nerve. i have flares of pain they are intense and excruciatingv!!!!! I have been in pain management about 4 months before my surgery. The first Doctor was great. he left the practice and i ended up with someone who really just wasnt interested in anything other than making me feel dismissed. So i went to see my pcp for advisement, she referred me to another practice. the Doctor there is wonderful in many ways,however he will not give me anything for my symptoms when i have these flares. Its beyond frustrating, the one and only person who can supply me with relief from debilitating pain is him!!! ive had steroid injections at least 20 times and RFA with him as well as my last pain doctor, I had met with my doctor on thursday after not goi ng to work on wednesday because i could barely walk, He did not want to listen at all. I brought all my records from his office as well as my list of meds that i got printed from my pharmacy and suggested he get familar with my history!!! I asked him for something for pain as well as for inflamatiom. i was offered to come in today for an sacrioliac joint injection!!!!!!!! that has to get aproval from my insurance,needless to say that it takes time for that to happen!! so he sent me home to suffer!!!! so now its the weekend and its forcing me to consider the streets,or suicide. i dread every day i wake up, the magnitude of chronic pain is so misunderstood. pain management is a joke. my opinion is that the opioid crisis has gotten worse due to or rather in part of unmanaged ,under managed pain care. I find it to be outrageous!!! if they did there job it keeps most people safe by monitoring with ua”s. There is no reason for people to suffer this way!!!!
I’m struggling now . Chronic pain and fatigue have caused me to think why don’t I just end it end my life I’m not really living anyway . Can’t make plans to do anything because my pain keeps me down. I’m at the end I don’t want this anymore . My family will be sad but I’ll finally be pain free
The quality of life we are experiencing is not living, but simply existing in intolerable suffering. Coping is all there is. If I could end this, I would. I wish I could help.
I feel the same way. I just found this article. I’m in chronic nerve pain in my feet. My feet and legs feel so heavy, along with stiffness, and numbness. This is from spinal cord damage from a cyst on my spine that was removed. I do the exercises from physical therapy everyday, they just make the pain worse. I take Gabapentin for the nerve pain, it helps some, but not all the time. Now, I’ve been told that Gabapentin is considered a controlled substance, even though, it’s not even a narcotic. Go figure. I guess drug addicts have been abusing it that’s why they changed its classification. So now , not all Drs will prescribe that either. So done living in this body anymore.
Totally feel the same. I’ve had 5 surgeries on my right foot I push so hard and this is a futile journey. Loving to walk and it’s my driving foot makes me insane. I get out of bed and say can’t wait to go back to my bed. Doctors don’t care. I feel your pain.
I’m running out of options with my chronic pain. Worked my whole life and now homeless with chronic back pain and don’t know what else to do or where to find financial and psychological help
That is horrible! You need to research how to get ssd benefits and some help from the state. If the doctors don’t help with the paperwork a lawyer will take your case for free if you have one.
my heart break for you. I know how you feel. I hope you can get an advocate to help you. I am dealing with same thing. it feels like hitting a dead end. I agree with Mel. Reach out to your states Human services. I am praying for you!!!!!
Sometimes, this article reminds people that they have to stop and think about next steps. Breaking the pattern can be important.
BS
Excellent read!